Not doing anything. Not making anything happen.  Something magical there.  Something unexpected.  Something untainted. Catching this. Changed everything for me. Long before Kensho, Kensho was inevitable upon discovering this. A process had been set in motion. Something else going on. We think that when we find emptiness that it will be nothing. But instead we discover something there.  Something never ending. And then we see that we can give in to that, and all of our troubles are kind of beside that.  They are important, but they are not what is really important. What is really important is finding this immense life.

I could be a fool. My faith in life has never wavered upon discovering it.  This something real. This bigger life. This Grace. This love. This life beyond Buddhism or Hinduism or Christianity. This realization of a bigger life. A life there no matter what I am or who I am. A life there living.  A life I don’t have to make happen.  A liberated life.  Not because of realizing something great or being the best. The most essential. That’s enough.  That’s unwavering.  That’s ever present.

I’m trying to get people to go to that nothing place. That place where we don’t go. They never go.  That zero place.  Where we aren’t going anywhere. There is actually nowhere to go but we are always running. Running.  Trying. Efforting. And when we are honest enough to face reality for the first time, we think there will be a barrier. And that barrier drops.  And we see that we don’t need to be afraid. We are connected always. We are never alone. It is impossible to be alone. Impossible to be unloved.

And when we stop reaching, doing, really stop, something else happens. Something else is allowed space.  Something else.  Like a wave from nowhere emerges.  It’s confusing. It’s unexpected.  We stop. Stop, stop.  And something happens that is not us, the normal us, not us making it happen.  Something flourishes that is not about us trying to flourish.  We see then that our value is not based on our effort. Our existence is not based on us manipulating or controlling or fighting or proving our worth.  For the first time we see that something is there and never goes away.  Something will never die. Something is not born. Something bigger than us, more interesting than us, shines. And this shining is great relief. This shining without reason is what everyone is. And when we see that, we can never feel truly alone again. Never feel lost again. When we’ve touched this, even if we have not clearly seen it yet, our faith develops, and our awakening is completely obvious and inevitable.

When we see this, our worries disappear. Of course we have to deal with the details of life and that can be stressful. But fundamentally we will never worry. We’ve touched, experienced, been shown this light which can’t go out.  Then we can be a fool, as our self worth is no longer based on being better or succeeding or improving or winning. We can never win and never lose as life is not even about us. Light is there, and that life is what we are. That light is what is important.  All of the details we strove to perfect are no longer real. Life is huge. Life is being lived. We are being lived through. And so our need for outer affirmation no longer exists.  Or if it does, it’s not taken seriously. Of course we will still have our personality. We’ll still have our likes and dislikes. We’ll still be human. But we’ll never look for true meaning outside of this light again.

Find out what is there all of the time. Touch what is there from the start. Taste what is real and never false. If there is a base of our experience, feel into where we imagine that to be, and watch it dissolve. Do not run away but watch life emerging without need of control or belief.  See that there is nowhere to go. There is no escape. There is no outside of life.

S. Kirillov. Basil Fool for Christ
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