Awareness Tidbits: Removing Ideas of Good or Bad

In Japan in the monastery I used to go out into the kyudo area behind the Hondo on the free days before the 6pm mandatory dinner. I wanted to take some time to address what was happening inside of me in an unstructured way. Try to allow it to sort out if I gave it…

The Most Intense Person in the Room

  For all of you folks out there who are always the most intense person in the room, or are waiting for everyone to notice the subtext, or can feel other people as yourself, or are a walking pressure cooker, or can’t get yourself going in one direction, or you feel like an exposed nerve, or…

How Sanzen Shaped My Way of Doing Bodywork

  “If we open ourselves completely, consciously or unconsciously, we are ready to listen to the voiceless voice of the universe.” – Dainin Katagiri Recently someone asked me what my practice looks like now that I am not doing koan work intensively in the monastery.  This post is a bit of a response to that…

Walking Emotional Energy Fields

We are walking emotional energy fields. When I came back from Japan, and Teresa was pregnant with Rose, we were living on a little herb farm in a cottage.  Some friends from the monastery were visiting one evening, and we were talking about what was next in our lives.  For me, it was a moment…

Honesty: Facing Ourselves in Zazen

We can’t do zazen unless we are honest.  Zazen itself teaches us that.  Without honesty, zazen won’t happen. Nothing will move through us, we’ll go to sleep or feel stagnant or sit there lost in thought.   We’ve got to feel what is happening, feel what is coming up.  Actually feel where we are stuck in…

Melding Through Depression and the Pressure Cooker

My experience with depression and desperation was an energetic problem. I was like a pressure cooker, basically beating myself up against reality, having many energetic quirks, kundalini issues and rising chi. My life really shifted when I began to be able to feel reality on deeper levels, to sense the energy of a situation and…