Practitioners usually go through a time when they feel quite disoriented. We feel something unmistakable is happening and we have no reference for it. We may feel utterly foolish or out of sorts. All of our strategies stop being interesting to us.
And yet something feels true about what is happening in spite of not understanding it. Thoughts about it don’t really touch it. And so it continually reinforces us to just let it go into it. And it will feel true and right. It might feel like we are being sucked into a vacuum, magnetized to it.
With the help of a good teacher or support, we just sit in that place of non-understanding and let it cook us, unfurl in this new way. And something new will blossom out of that unknown place. This might physically feel very strange, like you are being turned inside out.
We don’t understand it, but just dissolving in it, in this bigger process, our faith will grow in it more and more to the level we are vulnerable to it as time goes along.
Keep going into this unknown. Do not be seduced to figure it out or make an idea or philosophy out of it. In time, functioning will spring forth from a new place. A place not dependent on ideas of good or bad. This might make life strange as we stop being interested in taking in information to find meaning. It may feel as if we are decreasing. As if we are just evaporating. Or dying.
And at some point, driven toward this truth, we will finally touch this source of energy, and it will obliterate all doubt. We will see that there really is no place to go outside for truth, but we are that truth manifesting.
And then maybe we spend the next thirty years learning (at times unskillfully) to actualize it and use it and share it. Our way of functioning will be tied inextricably to this truth. Coming or going will no longer mean leaving this unification.